Deadpool Wars Part IV
by GhostKaiser23
Summary: Ever wonder what would happen if Deadpool crossed over to the Star Wars Universe? No? Good. Then this story will be a surprise for you all. Inside will contain humour, romance...and a lot of "George Lucas Special Edit" bashing. DeadpoolXHarem
1. Chapter 1

**Deadpool Star Wars IV A New Ship**

 **Chapter 1**

 **Author's Note:** As part of our one year birthday for Spider-Man One-Shots, we're uploading this new story. Please enjoy.

Ghost, Grey, Catherine and Luna walked through the great world corridor that looked like a cinema corridor. "Okay, what have we got this time?" Catherine asked

"Probably something involving magic, mythology and beasts." Luna answered

"Err...We've already SEEN that universe." Ghost answered pointing to a previous universe

"I want to see another one." She pouted

"Well...we might have a chance for that. Look at this one." Ghost pointed to a new door.

"Huh; this...this looks quite good." Catherine nodded

"Looks like Star Wars." Ghost added

"Sweet!" Grey smiled as the four entered

"YOO-HOO!" a fifth voice spoke from within the cinema

"Oh...NO!" Ghost chuckled but facepalmed

"Hey guys. How's it going?" the fifth voice, which was revealed to be Wade Wilson AKA Deadpool.

"Wade." Grey groaned, facepalming

"What...? You thought you could get rid of me after my last epic saga?" Wade asked

"Wade...you just fucked girls." Ghost groaned

"And what's wrong with that?" Wade asked

"Because you're being greedy." Grey replied simply

Wade pretended to be hurt to obtain sympathy "Well, if that's how you feel...I'll take my story ELSEWHERE!"

"Wade..." Ghost answered with a sigh "What story?"

'Please don't be stupid.' Grey mentally begged

"Imagine this: Me, travelling the cosmos, fighting galactic warlords, killing mob bosses, getting the girls...And a SHIT TONNE of cash!" Wade answered holding a HEAVILY edited script, that was rewritten in red crayon and passed it to host and Grey.

"And tell me, WHERE does this "intergalactic story" take place?" Ghost asked as they looked over she script.

"Easy: AU Marvel-Verse." Wade smiled, pointing to pictures of G-Cup labelled stick figures of alien women.

"... It says Star Wars here." Grey deadpanned

"Err...We're owned by Disney, shared universe." Wade answered

"They are not a shared universe." Grey deadpanned

"Grey, he's a sick mind so let's not try." Ghost sighed "Wade, I'm asking this kindly: PLEASE, go into the story."

He cheered, running into the screen

"You know, I'm glad he can just leap through the screen." Catherine sighed.

"One of the least crazy things he's ever done." Luna nodded

Ghost sighed and headed to the supply room. "There's coke in here Grey."

"I need a massive bottle to get me though this!" Grey told his friend

"Hmm...No bottles...But there's some of those rain collecting barrels which are each labelled 10 gallons. That enough for you?" Ghost answered

"Nope. But it'll have to do." Grey sighed dramatically

"And here is something for the ladies." Ghost produced some of the favourite food

"Thank you." they answered

"On with the story." Ghost and Grey called out

*In reality*

Space; filled with mostly nothing, but there are planets, stars and asteroids floating around. In a certain section of space a mercenary of great reputation is in a spaceship of his own as he wanted to visit the other end of the universe.

And then, in a flash of light, a less reputable mercenary appeared

"Hey, what the hell's going on here?" the first mercenary snapped

"Whoa that was a rush!" The mercenary laughed dressed in a simple red and black costume

The second mercenary was Deadpool, The Merc with The Mouth, The Regenerating Degenerate, Ninja Spider-Man and various other names.

"Wow...Look at THIS. THIS is nice; rustic, 1970's styled spaceship...I LIKE it." Wade smiled under his mask.

He nodded, looking over the place as he tapped his chin

"Now...let's see what we've got here..." Wade thought as he looked in the storage room of the ship, which held various weapons and trophies that looked alien and humanoid in origin. "Whoa, Han Solo in carbonite." Wade commented

"Wow I'm in the Star Wars universe! Sweet!" He cheered before putting C4 on Han, setting it up "Look Han ol' pal who I have never met, I've gotta say no to you living. You're awesome, I love ya, but how will I get any girls with you hanging around draining all of the attention?" He said as he prepared the explosions

"And may I just say: you had this coming. Ya shot first." He added

Walking away and leaving... The storage room exploded

"Ah...that felt good. Ha..."best bounty hunter in the galaxy". Right here!" Wade smiled but then was shot in the back with a dart "Ow...Wha...what just...Uh." Wade groaned as he felt the tranquilizer course through his spine.

"But Mommy I don't want to go to school today." He muttered before he passed out

*time skip*

Wade woke up slowly, his healing factor had kicked in, but this...whatever poison or tranquilizer was in his system, was foreign to him "Hmm...Ow...Did I wake up in Atlantic City again?" he joked before being zapped by what he thought was a cattle prod "OW! The hell?!" he snapped as his vision wasn't covered by his mask.

A deep heavy voice spoke with a laughter that could only be described as "sluggish". Wade heard the voice's source speak, it was a bunch of nonsense at first but he noticed the subtitles down below which read "So THIS is the person who stole Jabba's prize? Not much to look at."

"Hey, not to be picky but can you not use subtitle speak for this and just use English? It'll get confusing. OW! Watch it with that!" Wade asked the writers and got zapped again

"Yeah, he's the one...Blew up Solo without a second thought." The voice spoke

"Wait...Boba Fett?" Wade turned to the fabled bounty hunter "Nice to meet ya. GAH! That's it!" Wade spoke then was zapped again, which in turn he kicked the prod from the owner's hands and shoved it into the owner's chest piercing his heart, electrocuting him.

"Hold! He is skilled." the fat slug spoke

"Hey, Jabba...This how you treat your guests?" Wade snapped at the Hutt thinking it was the same iconic Hutt

"I am not Jabba. I am Rungra The Hutt: owner of Hutta." The Hutt spoke

"And you look exactly the same." He scoffed

"I have a cybernetic arm. Jabba does not." Rungra answered "Your skills...Could be of use to me."

"Listen buddy I may be a mercenary, but I'm NOT for sale." Wade answered

"Shame...You could've been worth more alive." Rungra answered pressing two buttons which caused Wade to fall through a disc through the floor and opened a wild animal.

"Oh well...FUCK YOU!" Wade shouted as he landed on the floor and his cuffs were broken off.

"Ya! It's broken! So now I can run!" Wade cheered

That was when a high screeching noise came from behind Wade...And it didn't sound small

"Oh...Shit." He looked behind him and saw a Nexu: a quadruped cur covered creature with four eyes on the side of its face like a spider and a very LARGE grin with razor sharp teeth.

He was silent... And then pulled out his guns, blasting at the creature

"Sorry beasty!" Wade commented as his bullets seemed to only wound but not kill the creature "The hell? These usually kill!"

The creature roared and lunged forward bearing its teeth.

"Oh crap!" Wade dodged the snapping teeth as he tried to find something as a weapon, which was in the shape of a broken leg bone of a large creature. "This better work!"

He stabbed the beast in the eye and then threw a grenade into its mouth

The creature swallowed the explosive and its stomach exploded while it fell to the ground dead

"Few...That...that was lucky..." Wade sighed

"... Why didn't I use my swords?" He suddenly realised

"THESE swords?" Rungra spoke as his assistant held two broken swords in their hands

"... YOU BROKE MY BABIES!" Wade roared in rage

"Oh sorry...But if you want weapons, go to the Bounty Hunter group." Rungra spoke sarcastically but spoke normally for the second part.

And he then began choking

"You. Don't. MESS. With. My. STUFF!" Wade gripped a rope around the fat Hutt's neck

The Hutt choked... And soon died.

"Y-You killed him!" the Hutt's group gasped and backed up

"Now...Who. The FUCK! Broke...My SWORDS?!" Wade snapped as he turned around

"Okay Boba Fett, YOU owe me a pair of katana!" Wade growled

The Mandalorian didn't respond except that it aimed its weapon at Wade.

"Oh please, fool me once and that shit." Wade answered

And then... He disappeared

"That DOUCHE...Break my swords, I take your ship...Though...What did slug-boy say about a Bounty Hunter guild?" Wade asked himself "And Han was in carbonite... When am I? If is this an alternate universe?"

*with the Writers*

"... Err... We didn't think of that." Grey sweatdropped

"Oh boy...err...Well, it looks like we'll have to make a plot for this." Ghost scratched his head

"Can't we just do what we did last time?" Wade shouted through the screen

"All you did was sleep with women; you REALLY want to do that in an AU Star Wars story?" Ghost asked

"Duh!" He called

"Okay... Look. Simple AU: Han was bagged before New Hope. Now get to Tatooine and help Luke!" Grey ordered

"Err, ONE problem: NO SHIP!" Wade answered

"Steal one!" Everyone yelled

"Oh yeah...But which one?" Wade pointed to three different ships:

One that looked like Boba Fett's ship, but dark orange and grey. It was a Firespray-31-class patrol and attack craft.

One that was a long horizontal "Y" in dark blue and light silver. It was a BT-7 Thunderclap.

And the final one was a YT-1300 light freighter with a red and black colour scheme.

"For those of you who don't speak Star Wars Ship Speak. A Firespray is Boba Fett's ship, the Thunderclap is a Military ship used by the republic in the old days and the YT-1300 is Han Solo's ship...Just not as modified." Ghost answered

"And I'll take the one that's screaming me." Wade laughed running onto the red and black YT-1300

"Figures." The writers and the girls spoke

"Now, let's see what this baby has got." Wade spoke searching his newly commandeered ship.

"PUSSYWAGGON GO!" he called, the ship blasting off at lightspeed

"Wade...Seriously? "Pussywagon"?" Ghost asked

"Screw you it's a great name!" Wade answered

"Have you checked your inventory?" Catherine asked

"No, why?" Wade asked

"Just check it Ryan Reynolds." Catherine commented

"Oh please, I'm not THAT good looking." Wade sighed and walked over to the inventory section of the ship. "Okay what am I...Oh...Shit."

"Don't move. You hijack MY hijacked ship...and claim it as your own?" a Twi'lek spoke. She appeared to be 18 with D-Cup breasts, Blue skin with dark blue markings. Her clothes were a pair of blue trousers with a white shirt, brown over-vest and finally black boots and gloves. In her hand was a blaster and it looked like it was only a simple one.

"Oh... Why hello." Wade smiled, looking the woman up and down with a smirk

"D-Don't! Don't come...ANY closer! I-I'm armed and I...I WILL shoot you!" The girl spoke as her hand shook lightly while holding it.

"No...No you're not. You're scared." Wade commented seeing the girl shake "What's your name?"

"What's it matter? You're not gonna stay long." The girl answered still shaking

"Easy, easy...I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm Wade." Said man spoke "Plus if you shoot nothing'll happen. I'll be fine." Wade smiled, putting his hand on her wrist and lowering it

The Twi'Lek girl began to choke up and dropped the blaster on the floor, he legs soon followed and she cried on the floor.

"Wow only known her for the minutes and already she's crying. New recorded." Wade joked lightly

"I-I'm sorry. *Sniff* I've never killed anyone." The girl answered crying "I've never STOLEN anything before!"

"Hey, hey, hey...It's okay. Newbies always get like this." Wade knelt down to her "Let's try this again; ahem, hello I'm Wade." he introduced himself and waited for the girl to answer

"I-I'm Tali." The Twi'Lek girl answered with a sniff

'I am suddenly picturing a sexy alien wearing a high tech suit with a purple glass visor... In wonder why.' He thought "Nice to meet you." He nodded

"So...why are you on my...this ship?" Tali asked

"Running from ass-hats." Wade shrugged simply "What about you?"

"I escaped...when you killed Rungra, you caused a power vacuum and freed the people under Rungra's rule. I escaped since I was the only one who had the key to Rungra's storage and exits. I took this smuggler's clothes and weapon...even a few supplies." Tali answered

"Wait...You were a slave?" Wade asked

"Slave is one word for it...I was also "entertainment", "food"...I could go on." Tali answered sadly

"Don't, NO-ONE deserves what you've been through. AND I think you deserve a lion's share of compensation." Wade answered "... Although you probably look beautiful in dat slave bikini." He said without thinking, his mind wandering to the famous image from the third movie and began to drool lightly

"Hmm..." Tali hummed as she was ashamed being reminded of that "uniform"

"Huh? Oh yeah...err...Want to come and help me with driving this bucket of bolts?" Wade asked wiping the drool from his lips "It'd be nice to have a co-piolet." He added "I'd drive myself even insaner... Is insane even a word?"

"I-I'd be co-pilot?" Tali asked

"Yep, front seat and all." Wade nodded

"O-Okay. Let's do it." Tali smiled wiping a tear from her eye.

"Then let's fly." Wade grinned

The beginning of a new story, the start of an adventure for Tali and Wade. Tune in next time for:

Starpool: The Rise and Return of the chimichanga!

 **To be continued**

 **I hope you've enjoyed reading this chapter as we have writing it.**

 **Please leave reviews for these stories they really help.**

 **The next chapter coming up soon.**

 **Thank you**


	2. Chapter 2

**Deadpool Star Wars IV A New Ship**

 **Chapter 2**

 **Reviews:**

Hero of the Multiverse: We had to kill Han. He shot first AND we've got plans.

Drift219: Wait and see for that.

Deadpool on July 17th: Really? Really Wade? That's disturbing.

Deadpool on July 20th: Dang it Wade...We've got you girls set out.

Wade and Tali were at the controls, they were heading to Tatooine and into the power vacuum that would cause a planetary gang-war. "Okay...know I've seen Han and the others fly this type of thing a million times...And...HERE!" Wade pushed a button and they arrived back at the Outer Rim planet.

"Are...are we here?" Tali asked

"Can you see OTHER planets around here?" Wade asked

"N-No...Sir." Tali cowered lightly

"Hey, hey...Easy with the "Sir" stuff, we're equal partners...Call me "Captain Wade McMegaLover Deadpool Wilson"...Or either Wade or Deadpool." Wade answered

"... What is with that name?" She asked

"Which one? I've got a TONNE of different names." Wade answered

"The one you told me to call you." She pointed out

"Captain McMegaLover or Deadpool?" Wade asked as he scratched his head.

"The Captain one!" She snapped

"Oh THAT...Err...well...I've err...Hey, look we're heading for the landing bay." Wade answered pointing to the ground

"Wade, PLEASE tell me WHY you called yourself "Captain McMegaLover"!" Tali asked

"Okay...okay...Let's just say: I've been a great lover to many a woman." Wade answered

Tali was just silent... And blushed

"Well, we've got to head down there. We're gonna get some HELLA loot." Wade smiled "Really? Is-is "hella" even a WORD anymore?"

*With the writers*

"Hey, Wade; Life is Strange brought it back. Don't knock the game, it's awesome." Ghost answered

"Plus Hella is slang for hell of." Grey added

"So it's a good thing, right?" Luna asked

"Yes it is." Catherine nodded

*With Wade*

"Well, let's go and get some loot. You coming Tali?" Wade asked

"Y-Yes Captain." Tali smiled as she picked up her blaster

"Now, since my own katana were destroyed...Does that mean I get Lightsabers?" Wade asked

"I'm not sure...But what's a katana?" Tali asked

"And what's a Lightsabre?" She added

"A katanna is an awesome blade! ... But mine where trashed." Wade pouted as he and Tali entered the cantina

"And you think...there's going to be one here?" Tali asked

"Well, one can hope." Wade smiled "Stay close, I know the sorts of people who haunt here."

She nodded with a slightly nervous smile

As they walked through they saw various species and humans who were drinking and conversing while listening to the musicians who weren't playing the same song in Mos Eisley. "At least you guys gave us a variation of music." Wade whispered as they waded through the people

"What are we doing here?" Tali asked

"Information and looting pockets. No better place to become a smuggler/thief than a cantina." Wade answered

"Plus we arrived before an alternate Episode 4 so Obi-Wan and Lukey-boy should be arriving soon." He added

"Huh?" Tali asked tilting her head

"Don't worry; alright?" Wade reassured her "Just try and pickpocket without getting caught."

"I-I'll try." Tali nodded

"You can do it." He smiled

"Okay." Tali nodded and tried to pickpocket some people a few people over.

Wade smirked, swiping a laser gun from a random person as he watched his new friend work

'That girl has a future...I wonder how Bob's doing?' Wade smiled then thought

*With Bob*

"You've just won $1 BILLION DOLLARS!" a Lottery announcer spoke

"WOO!" Bob, Agent of HYDRA cheered as he held his winning ticket

*With Wade*

"Probably fine." He shrugged

"Sir... Look." Tali smiled, showing him five wallets

"NICE. Let's see what you got." Wade examined the contents and saw a few credits. "Okay...what's the conversion rate on these things?"

"What do you mean? The whole galaxy uses these." She frowned

*With the writers*

"Err...well from what I remember £1 is equal to 500 Credits." Ghost answered

"You sure?" Grey asked "Well if that's true he has about... 650000 credits so about... £1300."

*With Wade*

"Awesome! Good work Tali; now let's get some stuff." Wade smiled

Unknown to them the majority of the money belonged to a Mandalorian, who's wallet Tali lifted, was glaring at them intently. And it followed, maintaining a distance.

Wade wrapped an arm around his 'partners' shoulder, whistling happily

'Target acquired...' The Mandalorian thought darkly as it followed

The two walked outside, basking in the sunlight... Before Wade span around and, using his stolen blaster, shot the Mandalorian in the chest

"ARGH!" The Mandalorian groaned in a disguised voice and shot back with its own blaster, just edging Tali's head-tails.

"Stay back." Wade instructed Tali as he didn't want her hurt.

He took her blaster and pushed her behind some crates, running towards the guy while blasting both guns as fast as he could. They weren't as good as his machine guns but those seemed to have no effect. Plus he was out of ammo. 'Wish Rocket was here to super upgrade my machine guns into OP laser blasting things of death.' Wade thought as he took the laser blasts from the assassin like they where nothing, healing after each blast ripped through his body

"What? That...That's impossible! You're filled with holes! You should be dead!" the Mandalorian snarled as she activated her flame thrower.

"Whoa! Hot, hot!" Wade commented "And I'm not talking about the flames." He flirted

"What're you talking about? I'm a bounty hunter! THIS is all that's hot!" The Mandalorian spoke now floating in the air hoping to get some distance between it and Wade and get an aerial advantage.

"... You don't get flirting, do you babe." Wade facepalmed

"Flirting isn't part of my repertoire." the woman answered and shot some rounds off

Wade rolled his eyes, dodging "No flirting? Oh you are missing out babe!" He smirked, shooting her helmet off

"Gah!" the Mandalorian woman landed on the ground, disoriented and beaten. She seemed to be about 20, short black hair, with cyborg enhancements over her left eye, dark skinned that seemed only lightened from the smoke etch around her eyes and nose.

"Whoa... Hubba hubba." He muttered

"If...If you're going to kill me...Do it quick...!" She panted heavily

"Whoa, whoa, whoa...No-one's killing anyone." Wade answered

"What?" She asked, shocked

"I'm not gonna kill ya." Wade repeated "I only attacked ya cause you attacked first. Name's Wade; what's yours?"

"... M... My name's Liara." She gulped

"Nice to meet ya." Wade extended his hand to get her up.

She took his hand and he helped her up

"So...Why were you tailing us?" Wade asked

"Your little friend there stole my wallet." Liara answered

"... I told her to." He flinched

"Grr...Novices." Liara groaned "You have a ship?"

"Err...Yeah, why'd you ask?" Tali asked

"Cause I'm coming along, you need to be a bit sneakier when lifting cash." Liara answered

"Okay, fine. We are currently waiting for an old man, a blonde teen, a good droid and an R2 unit. They'll be wanting a ship." Wade replied

"...Kind of an obscure limit, but okay. And speaking of droids, I've got this droid with me; she needs a good master/mistress." Liara added

"Okay?" Wade shrugged "And the ships big."

"Great, I'll go get her." Liara answered

"Well...we've gotten another member for the ship." Tali spoke kindly.

"Yep...Listen: you help Liara to the ship and get the droid uploaded and whatever. I'll meet you back in the cantina and wait for our next payday." Wade ordered kindly

"Okay." Tali nodded

Wade headed into the cantina while Tali followed Liara to get her droid.

Wade slumped down into one of the sectioned tables where he ordered, what seemed to be, alcohol. Luckily for him, his healing factor prevented him from drunk driving...try as he might.

And that was when the ones he was looking for arrived

'Right on time.' Wade smiled as he downed his alcohol.

One was a dirty blonde haired young adult man with blue eyes and white garb and a black belt. Another was an elderly man, white haired and with a white beard wearing a hermit brown robe. They aimed for the main bar where a pig faced man started harassing the young man.

Looking around Wade saw the big eyed alien. Greedo.

"Oh yeah...No Han, no "Han shot first"...There is a problem..." Wade pondered to himself.

"You there." Greedo spoke in the direction of Wade and walked towards him.

"Who? ME? Why're you talking to me?" Wade asked as he was being held at gun point by the alien.

"Rumour has it, YOU offed Solo. There's a price on your head." Greedo spoke maintaining his gun at chest height.

"I...dunno what to tell ya. You must have the wrong guy." Wade tried to talk his way out of it.

"Nah-nah-no...I got word from Hutta, you're the pretty boy who choked Rungra. Stole a red and black YT-1300...Ballsy...to say the least." Greedo answered

"Well, nothing else I can say." Wade sighed, shooting Greedo in the face

"That's taken care of...Hey barkeep, this guy's had one too many." Wade pointed to Greedo's smouldering corpse.

"ARGH!" a horrible scream was heard, it was one of the aliens who was hanging around pig-face. One of his favourite appendages was hacked off by a glowing blue lightsaber.

As Greedo's body was hauled off the old and young man approached Wade as they thought he was the most competent...and only one who didn't look like he was going to kill them.

"Hey Benny, Lukey boy!" He smiled

"I take it you know us." Ben Kenobi spoke as he sat down

"But, who're you?" Luke spoke as respectfully as he could slipping into a seat.

"Wade Wilson: pilot, mercenary and good with guns; at your service." Wade answered "You want to hire me to save the space princess? I'm game." he smiled

"How could you possibly know that? We've only received notice ourselves." Ben spoke

"I...Have a friend of a friend, who knows a guy." Wade smiled "You need a ship, I'm your man. Along with my crew."

He stood up and patted Luke's shoulder "You're gonna be a great guy one day kid. Hey Benny, how do I get Lightsabers?" He asked

"One doesn't simply "get" a lightsaber, you must have the heart for it." Ben answered "And don't call me "Benny"...Please."

"And yet bad guys have them to Benny." Wade shrugged

"How do you know so much about them? The Jedi and such." Luke asked

"I've watched the movies, played a lot of games... And one of the writers is a massive Star Wars nerd." Wade shrugged as he walked towards his ship, the two Jedi and the droids following

"Movies? Games?"the two asked each other as they followed

*Somewhere else*

"Sir, we haven't found the droids." a female sounding Storm Trooper spoke to her commanding officer

"Damn it. But what about those who went through the cantina? I want you to tail them." the officer ordered

"Yes Sir!" The female Storm Trooper answered

*back at the... *cough cough*... Pussy waggon.*

"This is your droid?" Tali asked Liara in confusion at the droid. It looked more humanoid than C-3PO, she almost looked like Jocasta.

"Yeah...Picked her up from a trader's route. Thought she'd make a bit of money...But, she's a good listener." Liara answered

"I see." Tali nodded

"Ms Liara, who may I ask is this?" the droid asked

"This is Tali, she's co-pilot of this ship." Liara answered "Tali, this is: Xara."

"Nice to meet you Xara." Tali nodded "What's your protocol system?"

"Secondary priority: human-cyborg relations; primary functions: ship maintenance, maintenance of owner's health, living arrangements and physical engagements." Xara answered

"... Simpler terms please?" The former slave asked

"I help create relations between different species, that is my secondary function. My primary function translates to: being a maid and a sexual partner." Xara answered

Tali blushed at that before...

"Oooooh baby! That sounds awesome!" Wade grinned as he walked up to them

"Gah! C-Captain..." Tali jumped into her seat

"Luke, R2, Benny, 3PO; this is my crew, Tali, Liara and Xara." Wade smiled introducing them to each other. "And helloooooo Xara. I think you and I will get along GREAT." He smirked

"Hello Sir." Xara answered kindly

"So, can you get us to Alderaan?" Ben asked

"Yeah I can but...Can't." Wade answered

"Why not?" Ben asked

"It's blown up." Wade answered

"What can blow up a planet?" Luke asked

"You'll find out." Wade shrugged, getting into the pilot's chair

"Hold onto your butts." Wade spoke as they began to levitate from the ground and flew into deep space.

 **To be continued**

 **I hope you've enjoyed reading this chapter as we have writing it.**

 **Please leave reviews for these stories they really help.**

 **The next chapter coming up soon.**

 **Thank you**


	3. Chapter 3

**Deadpool Star Wars IV A New Ship**

 **Chapter 3**

 **Reviews:**

Drift219: Of course not. And of course: SURPRISE LIGHTSABER!

Deadpool: Of course, we'd get you a sex-bot. Duh. 1 and 2: Wait and see Wade. 3: Err...Can't do that Wade. Unfortunately we don't have it in the budget. MAYBE Rocket might make an appearance, or he might come later. Wait and see.

On the other side of the galaxy a black suited man in a mechanical and iconic suit walked through a space station. His breathing was terrifying as it was needed

He soon arrived into a prison cell where a woman with brown hair dressed in a white ankle length dress with slits up to her hips sat

"Princess Leia." The man spoke

"Darth Vader." Said woman answered

"You WILL reveal the location of the rebel base." He frowned

"I...I will NOT reveal the location of the rebel base!" Leia defied him

"I can continue this Princess. Reveal to me the location of the rebel base!" Vader ordered

Leia frowned, falling back and holding her throat

"Your will is strong Princess...Very well." Vader spoke with an unintended flourish of his cape and left her to her fate. "There are other ways to gain information." As he spoke a black floating orb with silver tools entered the room, making Leia panic.

"N... No... No!" She muttered, backing up into the corner of the cell and trying to get as far away from the orb as possible even as it got closer to her

Outside the cell Vader turned to one of the many Storm Troopers "Have there been any updates on the missing plans?"

"As of yet, Lord Vader, there has: we have one of our own tailing a potential pilot who might have the droid." the trooper responded

"Who?" Vader asked

"Agent 1227 is tailing them sir and the smuggler is not in our database, but reports show he is a blonde haired masculine man with good looks." The trooper answered

"... Why is that in our systems?" Vader glared

"Because that's all the reports from the denizens gave us; Sir!" The Trooper answered in worry

Vader frowned and began to Force Choke the Trooper

"M-My...Lord!" The trooper struggled for breath and was dead within seconds.

"Find those plans AND this smuggler, NOW!" Vader snarled and went to contact his master.

"Yes sir!" He nodded, running

*On the..."Pussy Wagon"...God why did Wade call it that?*

"So, how long have you been a crew together?" Luke asked

"Since Tatooine." Liara answered

"Since Hutta." Tali answered

"And... How long ago was that?" Luke asked

"This morning." The two said as one

"A crew for a day?" Luke doubletook in worry

"I assume that you can fly this properly." Ben spoke

"Don't worry, I've had practice." Wade answered

*Flashback*

"DEADPOOL!" A group of Kree warriors shouted in worry as Wade was flying one of their warships through the debris of one of their invasion fleets and an asteroid field.

*Present day*

"Ah...good times." Wade thought back happily.

He smiled, working the controls before the ship flew off at high speeds

"Whoa! Did we just go into hyperspace?" Luke asked

"Nope!" Wade laughed

"Not that I'm not complaining but CAN we get to Alderaan in one piece, please?" Ben asked

"Oh we'll be fine Benjy, now train Mr Heroes Journey over there how to be a Jedi." Wade waved off

"Hey, show some respect." Luke commented

"I WILL turn this ship around!" Wade warned them "Now learn how to slicey slice with Ben."

The two sighed, leaving

"You were a bit mean to them." Xara answered

"Oh come on baby, you'll come to love me." Wade laughed with a smile

"I am not an infant. Nor am I capable of love or conceiving." Xara answered

"... Baby is slang for girls. And I'm sure you'll love it." Wade smiled

"I will have to update my vocabulary then." Xara answered

*In another space ship*

"Report soldier." a Storm Trooper officer spoke

"I'm in pursuit Sir. Targets are in sight." The female Storm Trooper responded

"Very good. And we've also the Empire have assigned an agent to accompany you on this mission." the officer spoke

"With all due respect Sir, I am capable on bringing back the droids and the people who've acquired them." She responded

"If it was up to me you'd be doing this solo. But the Empire are insistent on this co-operation. Her name is Ensign Talia Hawke." The officer answered

"Yes Sir; I'll make contact as soon as we're able." the female Storm Trooper answered

"Signing off." the officer cut the communications link.

The Storm Trooper nodded, sitting in her chair... Before taking her helmet off to take a deep relaxing breath

She was dark skinned with bleached hair tied in a short ponytail, she appeared to be 26. "This job...This job..." She sighed "So tiresome."

*With Wade*

"Okay...This guy...Here." Wade started to play the hologram game that was installed on each ship with Liara.

"I win." Liara said, moving her piece to win

"Ah damn it." Wade frowned

"You REALLY don't understand this game, do you?" She giggled

"No...I've only seen Wookies win." Wade sighed

"Well no one wins against Wookies... They are terrible losers." Liara shrugged

"THAT and they rip limbs off." Wade added "Here's a thought: what's the inventory like? Do we have enough food and crap?"

"Searching. You have enough provisions for several months before restocking and the toilet situation is not of concern." Xara answered

"I-. No I mean "crap" as in "stuff"! What the inventory's like!" Wade answered

"Oh, if that is a secondary term I will put it under "colloquialism". We have several treasures and enough Credits for some upgrades and other necessities." Xara answered

"That sounds good." He nodded "Hey Tali, how's the trip going to Alderaan?"

"We're making good time." Tali answered back

"It's not gonna be there." Wade said as he saw Luke's training

"Gah! Ow..." Luke shouted as the laser from the training ball hit him.

"Why do you say Alderaan won't be there?" Ben asked

"Just wait a moment." Wade said a bit sadly and then... Ben felt it.

Ben became lost of breath and almost collapsed to the control side

"What's wrong?" Luke asked

"I just felt...the screams of a billion people and then were silenced within an instant." Ben gasped "I'll be fine; you can...carry on with your training. I must have a word with our captain."

"Okay. Liara, stay on course!" Wade waved, following Ben

"On it." Liara answered back

"So what's up Ben?" Wade asked as they were out of earshot

"How? How did you know that would happen?" Ben asked

"Because of the script." He shrugged

"Script? What script? What're you talking about?" Ben asked

"Listen Benny, it'll hurt your head the more you try and understand." He waved off

"There is no ignorance there is knowledge..." Ben recited a line from the Jedi code.

"Sometimes, ignorance is the best thing." Wade answered "Plus it's not ignorance when you purposefully ignore or avoid something that I will hurt you if you get involved. Also, just so you know, I know the Skywalker secret and family tree."

"How could you know? I've never breathed a word of it." Ben answered

"Trust me...I know." Wade smiled

"Now... We should be seeing a moon any second." Wade said as they left

"That's no moon." Liara muttered

"It's a space station." Wade nodded "Can we move?"

"No, we're caught in a tractor-beam!" Liara tried to back up, but the ship was being drawn towards the station.

"Then don't fight it, let them drag us in." Wade ordered

"Are you psychotic?" Liara answered

"Yes. But trust me." Wade smirked

"But we've nowhere to hide!" Tali panicked

"Ships like this have compartments in the floors; we'll hide ourselves when they decide to search this place." Wade answered "Then we sneak out and save the princess."

"Princess? We're risking life and limb for a princess?" Liara deadpanned

"Yeah, she's rich. We can earn a pretty penny from this job." Wade enticed her.

"Plus she's the leader of the rebels aiming to stop the Evil universal empire who would be hindering and hounding us if we step a toe out of line."

"It WOULD be nice to get paid without the Empire breathing down my neck." Liara commented

"So we help and we win!" Wade nodded with a smile

As the ship was now docked into the Space Station, which Wade knew was called the "Death Star". They were surrounded by Storm Troopers who began to search the ship.

The group hid under the grating, looking up at the Storm Trooper's

"Anything?" One Trooper asked

"Nothing." Another spoke

"Looks like our sister Trooper is docking in." the Trooper called out

"Misty's a good tracker...I'll give her that." the first spoke as they vacated the ship.

"Wait!" Wade yelled, time freezing "A girl Storm Trooper? Aren't all Storm Trooper's clones right now?"

"Well...They're going through an "equal rights programme" at the minute. They're recruiting people who can actually HIT something." Ghost answered "She's a crack shot."

"... You originally forgot and are bullshitting a reason, aren't you?" Luna giggled

"I...Grey, back me up here will ya?" Ghost asked

"Yeah he totally did that." Grey laughed

"Et tu Brute?" Ghost clasped his heart and a distraught face. "Can we just agree that she's a female clone of Jango Fett or something?"

"Oh...Come here." Catherine hugged him.

"Thanks." Ghost sniffed.

"Sure." Grey and Luna nodded

"So...The clone sister of Good Old Boba?" Wade asked

"Agreed." They nodded

*end Author interrupt*

"Who the hell is "Misty"?" Liara asked

"Probably a faulty clone or something." Wade answered "Let's move."

Everyone nodded, the group carefully slipping out of the ship

"How're we gonna get past them?" Tali asked

Wade noticed some strategically places boxes that could help conceal them from prying eyes.

Smirking, he slipped under one

"Quick, this way." Wade whispered

The others looked at him oddly but followed his lead

"You better know where you're going." Liara spoke

"Don't worry; I've seen this film a MILLION times." Wade whispered

"... What?" Everyone asked

"SHH! This way." Wade pointed

But Obi-Wan stoped, he sensed something.

"Hey, what's the hold up?" Liara asked

"I'm sensing something. I have to go." Obi-Wan answered

"Okay then, have fun!" Wade waved

"We're just going to leave him?" Tali asked

"We're getting the princess first, THEN we'll see if we can get Obi-Wan back." Wade whispered back "Now come on!"

 **To be continued**

 **I hope you've enjoyed reading this chapter as we have writing it.**

 **Please leave reviews for these stories they really help.**

 **The next chapter coming up soon.**

 **Thank you**


	4. Chapter 4

**Deadpool Star Wars IV A New Ship**

 **Chapter 4**

 **Reviews:**

Deadpool: Wade, there's no Jedi Pikachu...No matter how much we want to. You MIGHT meet Ahsoka, just wait for the rest of the series. Ha-ha...yeah...Tony IS gonna be pissed. As for George Lucas' Lawyers...They don't know where we are. We're between dimensions.

As the group continued through the Death Star, Wade noticed that some Storm Troopers were coming past.

"Knock them, steal their outfits." Wade whispered

"Good, I get to hit something." Liara smiled

Luke looked at his Lightsaber, his father's Lightsaber, nervously

"Hey; don't look down okay? We're gonna get the princess." Wade answered

Luke nodded nervously

'Hmm...I probably should mention to him that Leia is his twin sister.' Wade thought as Liara knocked out some Storm Troopers 'But then again I can always save that for later. As long as I'm here I'm not gonna let Princess Dat Bikini get away from my manly charms!'

As Wade smiled internally Liara stripped off the armour of the Troopers and left them in a secluded closet. "Come on, we're on a rescue mission." Liara spoke

Everyone nodded, getting the outfits on

"Hmm...This is really tight around my chest." Tali spoke struggling to get into the armour

'Oh hot damn.' Wade thought slipping into the armour

He smirked as he looked over their bodies

'Later tonight.' Wade smiled

"So what do we do now?" Luke asked

"To detention level... What was it again Ghost?" Wade said, soon stopping as he thought

"Err...Wait, wait...Give me a minute...Ah go it: Level five, Detention Block AA-23." Ghost tried to remember.

"Got it! Detention Block AA-23." Wade nodded "Thanks Ghost!" He called, running off

"How does he KNOW those things?" Liara asked herself

"No idea." Tali admitted.

"Well, into fray." Liara answered

"I like your style." Wade smiled

"Okay, now if Ghost remembers the directions correctly..." Wade opened an encyclopaedia of the Death Star "The Detention floor should be here."

As he said that they arrived at said floor, Wade quickly knocking out the guards. Well killing them but same thing right?

"Think the reactor thing will work?" Wade asked

"Wade...I can only hope." Ghost sighed

"What reactor thing? What're you talking about?" Luke asked

"Urgh...I can just tell this is going to be a thing." Liara spoke

"I've got the blasters; you never know if we'll need them." Tali spoke.

"You guys... Distract people! I'll go see the Princess!" He cheered, running down the hallway "Oh Luke, if ANYONE calls up on that thing there...Just say that we've got a reactor leak."

"Why? A...nd he's gone." Luke tried to ask but Wade was already gone.

"... Great." The girls sighed

"Okay now...Detention Block...AA-23." Wade spoke going through the different doors and finally landing on the selected area. "Bingo." And he opened the door to see a winded Princess Leia.

He stared in amazement, the Princess laying on her bench/bed sideways in a 'paint me like your French girl' pose

'Boner ENGAGED!' Wade thought to himself as Leia woke up. 'Damn it, just FIVE minutes!'

"Little tall for a Storm Trooper aren't you?" Leia asked as she saw Wade still armoured

"In more ways than one." Wade smirked, taking his helmet off revealing his mask

"Who're you?" Leia asked

"I'm Wade Wilson; I'm here to rescue you." Wade answered "I've got Ben Kenobi with me."

"Ben Kenobi? Ah!" Leia tried to walk but her legs were still hurt from her torture.

"Gotcha." Wade smirked, catching her

"I...Thank you." Leia spoke

"WADE, WE'RE GONNA HAVE COMPANY!" Liara shouted down the hall.

"Boring conversation, huh?" He chuckled, wrapping his arms around Leia "No bra Princess?" He smirked

"That...That's none of your concern." Leia blushed

"We have to get moving." Tali spoke peaking through the doorway seeing Troopers marching towards them

"Come on sexy." Wade flirted, squeezing Leia's ass before he turned to the Troopers and opened fire with his machine guns

"What the-?!" the Troopers snapped

"Bang, bang, b-bang!" Wade spoke as the bullets flew from his guns.

The bullets barely scratched the armour but hitting their necks and arms ripped through their body

"Okay, lasers work; bullets...Not so much." Wade groaned

"At least I killed them." He sighed

"I can't believe you just used this...What is this?" Leia asked looking at his machine gun.

"Machine gun, Princess; come on, we've got to head to the ship." Wade answered

"They look so... Barbaric." She muttered

"Barbaric? Yes. Effective...Somewhat." Wade answered as he carried Leia. "Liara, anything?"

"Not yet. But we HAVE caused attention." Liara answerd

"Damn... Run to the ship!" Wade yelled, squeezing Leia's ass as he ran

"But what about Ben?" Luke asked

"I'm more worried about US!" Wade answered

"Huh? Hey they're going this way!" a Trooper shouted "Gary!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" a trooper responded

"There's a Trooper called "Gary"? Ghost is that you?" Wade shouted

"I have NO idea what you're talking about." Ghost answered

"Fair enough." Wade answered as they saw the ship within their sights.

And that... Was when Luke saw Vader and Obi-Wan fighting

"Be-!" Luke tried to call out but was stopped by Tali who was pulling him to the ship.

"Come on kid, we can't wait for him!" Tali warned, dragging him inside as Obi-Wan was struck down

"NO!" Luke called out

"Come on kid!" Wade almost kicked Luke into the ship as they were being fired upon "Tali: Punch it!" he ordered his crewmate.

But the second before the ship raced off he teleported next to Darth Vader and grabbed Obi-Wan's Lightsaber before teleporting back to the ship just before it went to light speed

"This...Can't be happening." Luke shook in place

"He...He's gone." Leia added

"It's not over yet." Wade spoke.

"Couldn't have said it better ourselves." A stern female voice spoke from behind them.

"What the?! Who's this now?" Wade turned around and saw person who was talking.

It was a woman with cropped red hair, C-Cup breasts and appeared to be 21. Her entire being was covered in an Imperial uniform and held a blaster rifle in her hand. And behind her was a Storm Trooper holding her own rifles at Wade and the others. "Now...Into the Cargo Hold. ALL of you." The Agent spoke.

"... No, I don't think so." Wade shrugged, uncaring "And... Is that a FEMALE Storm Trooper?!"

"And what of it?" The Trooper spoke "Sex isn't an issue when you can shoot an enemy."

"That's true. And that makes you the most badass Storm Trooper." Wade nodded with a smile

"Err...Bu-I..." The Trooper fumbled over her words

"Enough of this." The Imperial Agent groaned and shot Wade in the stomach "To the Cargo Hold. NOW!"

"Ow! Ow-ow-owie...Did you REALLY have to shoot me? Couldn't you have just ordered dinner." Wade groaned as his stomach healed "Or maybe even Netflix."

"That...That's not possible." The Agent gasped

"That's me baby." Wade winked

"Stay back! On the orders of the Empire, you're under arrest!" She spoke.

"Oh yeah?" Wade smiled "Wanna bet?"

He walked towards the confidently "You can't hurt me. Well... You hurt me but you can't take me down. You can't kill me. And everyone else here will back me up. You're outnumbered and outgunned."

"Well...I-." The Imperial Agent spoke then was interrupted

"Oof!" The Trooper groaned as she was knocked out

"The hell?" The Imperial Agent spoke only to be nerve pinched by Wade.

"Well...Easier than expected." Wade smiled "Nice timing."

"It's not the first time my being bound came in handy." Tali spoke with a smile

"... Kinky." He grinned

"Come on, let's go see who these two are." Luke spoke

"Oh, I forgot to do the introductions: Luke, this is Leia; Leia, this is Luke." Wade spoke

"Nice to meet you/ Hi, how are you?" Luke and Leia shook hands.

"Aaaaaand... That's enough." Wade nodded, pulling them back

"O...kay..." They answered

"Tali: I've got Trooper, you've got Ms Stick-Up-Her-Butt." Wade lifted the Trooper girl and dragged her to the cargo

"Okay." Tali nodded doing the same

"They...are...some sort of crew." Leia commented

"True." Liara nodded

"Hey, what happened with you?" Wade asked as he pulled the Trooper upon a table

"After "Stormy" here raided the ship, she tied me and Tali up and shut down Xara. I was rebooting her when I heard you guys dragging these two in." Liara answered

"It's true...She had trouble doing Imperial knots." Tali answered

"... Again. Kinky." He smirked

"Well, let's get this crazy stuff off of them and find out what they know." Liara suggested

"Do you need assistance Captain?" Xara asked as she had fully rebooted.

"Yea... I could." He smirked

Xara turned to Leia and scanned her "This human needs medical attention. I will bring her to the medical bay then help with you, Captain."

"Okay, okay. Tali, Liara and I can sort out these two." Wade answered

Xara nodded and left with the Princess

"I'll...I'll just step outside." Luke spoke

"No problem Luke." Tali answered

"Now...what to do with you two." Wade thought with a growing smile

 **To be continued**

 **I hope you've enjoyed reading this chapter as we have writing it.**

 **Please leave reviews for these stories they really help.**

 **The next chapter coming up soon.**

 **Thank you**


	5. Chapter 5

**Deadpool Star Wars IV A New Ship**

 **Chapter 5**

 **Reviews:**

Deadpool: I've got Rick's Portal Gun, Grey has the TARDIS. It's what we agreed on when we wrote this stuff. You'll have to wait for Princess Leia...Princess Amidala is dead in this story. Canon(ish) universe Wade.

"This shouldn't hurt. I apologize if it does." Xara spoke as she injected a clear fluid into Leia's leg.

"Hnn!" Leia gritted her teeth as the injection flowed to her leg.

"This medicine should help with the pain and help with any torn ligaments." Xara spoke

"It...it's okay. Thanks." Leia answered

"You should rest now. It will work much better if you remain stationary." Xara informed the princess.

*With Wade*

"Are you SURE we're allowed to do this?" Liara asked with a raised eyebrow as she saw the Imperial Agent and female Storm Trooper.

"Well, we need information don't we?" Wade smiled

"And THIS is the only way to get it?" She asked

"Well...Not my best work but...We've got an expert on knots." Wade pointed to Tali

"Oh...Thank you." Tali smiled as she held some ropes in her hands

"Well, time to wake them up." Wade nodded to Tali, she pulled the ropes making the two captives moan from the tightness.

They blinked as they awoke, looking down at themselves

"What? What is this? What've you done?" The Imperial Agent groaned trying to get out of the ropes but just struggled against the ropes as they seemed to tighten with each struggle.

"Don't worry about it. We're just having a little talk. Now: who are you?" Wade answered then began the interrogation.

The two looked at their bodies and saw they were tied up in traditional Japanese rope bondage

"What? What bindings are we in? Tell me! Or so help me I'll-!" The Imperial Agent threatened only to be stopped by Tali pulling on the ropes making her stop and moan

"Ah! Ah...What...What is this feeling?" the trooper moaned

"It's a rope rubbing between your legs." Wade explained

"Now, I'll ask again: who are you?" Wade asked "If you refuse to answer my friend here will increase the tightness."

"Don't give him anything!" the Imperial Agent ordered only to moan as Tali tightened her ropes.

"And it sounds like Ms Imperial over there likes it." he laughed

"I-I don't!" the Agent moaned denying it

"M-Misty..." the trooper began to answer

"I'm sorry?" Wade to the Trooper

"My name...It's Misty..." The trooper answered

"Nice to meet you Misty." he nodded, taking her helmet off

"Wow, not bad looking." Wade smiled

"I...I don't-" Misty blushed

"D-Don't...Listen to him." The Agent snapped only to drool as she felt her body contort from the ropes.

"Wow and the agent loves BDSM." Wade laughed

"Sh-Shut it! AH!" The Agent answered

"How did you get on our ship?" Wade asked

"We...We snuck on...As you were out..." Misty answered

"Ah...Yeah that'll do it." Wade sighed

"S-Silence!" The Agent moaned

"Okay, one last chance: What's your name?" Wade sighed and ordered the Agent. "Otherwise you're gonna have THESE shoved in THERE for the ENTIRE trip!" Wade pulled out a butt-plug and vibrator from...somewhere. And pointed to her vagina and ass.

"She... is still wearing her cloths." Tali pointed out

"Oh-ho-ho...I KNOW..." Wade smiled evilly making the Agent shudder "Now...What. Is. Your. Name?" Wade asked expecting an answer

"E-Ensign Louise Hawke." Louise answered

"Was THAT so hard?" He hummed

"Ensign? She's more than just an Imp; she's a bloody Top Rank!" Liara snapped "Spies, assassins, the whole lot!"

"... Awesome." Wade smirked

"Awesome?!" Liara snapped "Her lot have got more blood on their hands than most Bounty Hunters!"

"And that's why she'll need very STRICT training before she becomes part of the crew." Wade answered

"Plus I've seen worst things than she could ever do." Wade waved off

"Name one." Liara wanted to know.

"I've seen my alternate murder an entire universe of heroes AND I've been crushed by an alternate Earth." Wade answered "Oh, and that alternate me? He KILLED other alternate me's. He made an army of evil alternate me's to destroy all me's and then destroy creation itself."

"...God DAMN! And I thought the Empire was fucked up." Tali spoke

"I know; right?" Wade agreed

"How dare you insult the empire!" She yelled

"Tali...?" Wade spoke slyly

Tali smiled and pulled the ropes so that Louise felt them constrict and tighten around her.

She moaned loudly, falling to the side

"Now then...let's get you trained up and ready for our crew..." Wade spoke with an enticing tone.

"Never." She snarled lightly

"Tali, Liara...can you vacate the room while I sort out Ms Louise, please?" Wade asked as he cupped Louise's chin.

"O... Okay." Liara nodded as she and Tali left leaving Wade with the Admiral and Storm Trooper

"What...What're you going to do? We've complied." Misty spoke in confusion as she didn't understand what was going on

"Simple." Wade answered as he removed his shirt "I'm gonna fuck YOU for being a good girl; then I'm gonna fuck HERE for being a naughty girl."

"WHAT?!" They yelled

"Oh don't worry. It's not like you're not gonna enjoy it." Wade smiled as he kissed Misty

Misty's eyes widened in shock

"Hmm?! H-Hmm..." Misty moaned as she felt Wade's tongue battle with hers.

And she soon gave in

"Hmm...You likey?" Wade teased

"Y-Yes..." Misty moaned as that was her first kiss.

Wade grinned at that

"Well then...Let's give you something to work with." Wade unzipped his trousers and revealed his 12 inch long and six inch thick cock

Both girls eyes widened at the sight of it

"Wow." Wade smiled "Being generous here aren't you? Huh, what's this? Wade, gone somewhere for few chapters good luck. Ghost. Well fair enough." Wade read a note and began to aim for Misty's mouth

Misty blinked, shuddering as she looked at the cock

"Now...first things first. I want you to try and give me a blow job. What you do is: start licking." Wade ordered lightly

She nodded, doing as he said

"Hmm...That's good. Keep it up; I've got to talk to our Agent friend here." Wade smiled and turned to see Louise

She was panting and blushing a bit, but seems in control besides the light wiggling she did every now and again.

"I take it you like being submissive." Wade smiled

"N-No I don't..." Louise panted

"... Yea you do." He smirked "You know, it's not nice to lie to yourself. It's better to accept those feelings."

Louise blushed and looked away

"Hmm." Misty moaned as she began to suck Wade's tip instinctively

"Whoa, you're eager aren't you?" Wade smiled "And you: Ms Louise...Come here." Wade kissed her.

Louise glared, trying to break the kiss

'Ah...trying so hard. Let's up the ante.' Wade thought and introduced his tongue into her mouth.

Louise frowned and bit his tongue

"OW! Okay THAT wasn't nice!" Wade snapped as he broke the kiss and he pulled the ropes.

She moaned, going cross-eyed as her body shuddered and the area around her crotch rope got wetter

"I think it's time to train THIS." Wade spoke, slowly pulling his cock out from Misty's mouth; said person was panting heavily her mouth and body wanting more. "And I THINK...I need to use THIS." Wade spoke prodding his cock by her pussy.

Misty moaned at that, feeling his cock even through the material of her under-suit

"It... It's so warm!" She moaned as he ripped the suit around her pussy "B... But I don't think it will fit!"

"Oh-ho...trust me...I'm SURE it'll fit." Wade smiled as he rubbed the outer walls of her pussy with his foot long member.

Misty was moaning, her pussy covering his cock in her pussy juices

"Oh...VERY wet." Wade smiled as it slicked across her pussy "I bet I can just slide in."

Misty whimpered at that, not believing how good this felt

"Do you WANT me to slide it in?" Wade teased

"Yes! Please!" she begged, nodding

"Y-You can't do this! We're part of the Empire!" Louise begged

"Well, you're the only one." Wade shrugged it off "I asked Misty if she wanted this; and BABY...THIS is gonna be GOOD!" he thrust within Misty, going into her virgin pussy though her hymen was already gone from a training exercise.

And she screamed in ecstasy

"AH! So fucking TIGHT!" Wade moaned as his cock was halfway in her body and began to pulse within her body making Misty's eyes roll back into her head.

"Never felt so good!" She screamed

"Oh man; I feel sorry for you, the Empire doesn't treat you right!" Wade jested as he began to play with her tits as she bounced on his cock.

Well he massaged her breasts as best as he could because she still had her chest plate on

"R-Rip it off! Rip my chest-plate off...And...Knead my breasts!" Misty moaned

"Oh? You want me to?" Wade smirked, slowly unclipping her chest plate

"Yes! Yes make me feel better!" Misty moaned

Wade smirked and filled it off easily

"AH! Oh GOD! S-So good! I-I'm tingly! I'm tingly!" Misty moaned

"Tingly?" Wade mocked

"I-I! AH...!" Misty moaned as she came from her pussy and from his cock.

Wade smirked as he pulled out

"Ah! Ha...ha..." Misty panted heavily still thinking of his cock within her pussy.

Her pussy was still slightly gaping, her body shaking slightly

"I think that went well." Wade joked; his massive member was still erect "Now...let's see what we've got HERE."

He grinned as he is called over to the bound agent who was moaning as the ropes rubbed her body as she tried to get out

"Oh baby...you aren't getting out of that. Wouldn't be fun for the story." Wade teased

"L-Let me o-out!" Louise moaned

"Aww, why would I do that?" He smiled almost mockingly

"C-Cause...I...I can give you...In-in..." Louise moaned as the ropes tightened around her

"Insertion? Yeah no thanks. I don't swing that way in these sorts of stories." Wade brushed it off

"Inf...Inf..." Louise tried to answer

"Inferno? Yeah maybe, is your real name "Lucifer"?" Wade joked

"Information! I can give you...Information!" Louise moaned as she came from the tightness of the ropes around her pussy.

"And then I'll fuck you." He nodded with a smile, gently breaking a rope

"Yes! Yes...Okay...There...There's a trade route for the Empire...and several contracts on people..." Louise began to speak and Wad listened...Well, he listened as he gently prodded his cock against her pussy.

He nodded, thrusting in and out of her as he listened and remembered all of the information she gave him

"Th-AH! There're...There-AH Sith! Sith who'll find you!" She moaned as his cock thrusted inside of her.

"I know about the Sith." He smirked, the head of his cock jabbing her womb with each thrust

"H-How? Th-They've been s-secret for ages!" Louise moaned as she felt her womanhood being filled with his manhood.

"I'm me." He smirked, kissing her

"Hmm, hmm, hmm!" Louise moaned as he kissed her; all her training, all her dedicated time to detaching herself from her target to kill, all out the window. She wanted nothing more than just to fuck Wade.

So as he broke the kiss she begged "Fuck me!"

"I've been doing that for the last five minutes." Wade answered "But if you insist..." Wade smiled as he pushed Louise down deeper onto his cock and filler her pussy with more of his member.

Louise was like a bitch in heat, feeling almost ALL of his rock hard member inside of her, her eyes rolled back into her head and her tongue hung out, she panted for more and more. Until... "I'm cumming! I'm cumming!"

Wade smirked, slamming her up and down until she finished cumming. He pulled his cock out, still hard and he still hadn't came yet

"Damn it...so much cock and not enough time to cum." Wade sighed "Guess I'll have to do something about this."

But then he got an idea and smiled. He pulled Misty and Louise close to him and he sat down, his cock near their mouths

"Double mouth blow-jobs. Nice..." Wade thought to himself

And he was happily rewarded as both happily licked his cock

'If this doesn't make me cum what will?' Wade thought to himself as he felt their mouths caress his member and their tongues lick his head and his shaft.

And he was so amazed at the sight

Two beautiful women servicing him at the same time, he felt his limit reaching as his head was being sucked upon by Misty.

So with a grunt he filled her mouth

"Phew...That...that was good." Wade sighed happily with a smile

"Sh-sho...much..." Misty moaned as she tried to swallow the amount of cum, then she kissed Louise giving her half of the seed in her mouth so both of them could taste it

The two moaned louder, kissing happily as they swapped the cum back and forth

"Oh god damn it..." Wade groaned as his cock began to grow again. "No, no, no! Bad dick! You go limp right now!" Until it was fully erect again. "NOW, how am I gonna finish this?"

"Captain, are you well? I have treated Ms Leia's wounds." Xara spoke

"Ah, perfect timing! Xara come in here will ya?" Wade asked

"Yes sir." The robot nodded, entering

As Xara entered she saw Louise and Misty making out, cum swapping with their tongues. "It seems that you have "broken" them, Captain. What do you wish of me?"

"I've got a problem...and you might be able to help." Wade answered pointing to his erect cock.

"Ah, you wish for me to perform sexual inter/outer-course; understood. I must warn you sir, my design is not completely human. When performing inter/outer-course it will be very unusual." Xara forewarned him

"So it'll be different... Cool." He smiled

"How would you like me positioned?" Xara asked

"How about you sit on my lap?" He smirked

"But won't your phallus be in the way?" Xara asked

"Well...I'm sure there's somewhere I can put it." Wade smiled

That was when Xara understood and she nodded, sitting on his lap facing him as she lowered herself onto his cock. Wade groaned as his cock slid into... Whatever her pussy was.

"Is this alright?" Xara asked with an unchanged expression

"Y-Yeah...GOD you're tight!" Wade groaned "But...Soft!"

"My sexual service apparatus makes it that you feel the tightness of a virgin yet the softness of a natural vagina." Xara added with a plain expression on her face "I can even make my internals vibrate for more stimulating pleasure."

"W-Wait...Are you saying...You're a sentient Vibrator Sex-Doll?" Wade asked as he began to slowly grind inside of her fake pussy

"That is correct. I cannot feel pleasure nor can I orgasm. But I CAN lubricate." Xara answered as she vibrated and began to make her pussy just that bit wetter

"Oh fuck that's good!" Wade groaned as he bounced her on his lap "But... It's not as nice as seeing me twist your face in pleasure as I make you cum! Fucking good so wet!"

"I understand Captain." Xara answered as she bounced on his cock, her face still remaining in a not serious but kind manner "But as long as I am useful to you, this is enough for me to give YOU pleasure."

"But...G-God DAMN isn't there any way to make you cum or make you just that bit more human?" Wade asked as he gripped her nigh-human D-Cup breasts and knead them.

"What do you mean? Are you...trying to make me half-human? Make me a homunculus? More than an artificial human?" Xara asked as she was fucked

"If I can! Cause I'm not the type of guy, to have ALL pleasure!" Wade groaned as he came inside of her fake pussy.

"Are you satisfied Captain?" Xara asked as she wanted to pull off from his cock, but was pulled in for a kiss

"Not until...I see your O-Face." Wade answered

"But I cannot cum." She frowned, before she was gently pushed onto her back and rolled onto her stomach with Wade hover over her, before he slid into her fake ass

"Hmm! G-God damn! Your ass it tight!" Wade moaned

"It should be, it's made the same way my artificial vagina was created." Xara answered

"Oh stop being so clinical and feel good!" Wade growled

"I cannot "feel good"; until I am upgraded I cannot be any more than I am." Xara answered as her tits rolled on the floor.

"C-Captain...Can...can we leave now...?" Louise moaned

"To...To the sleeping quarters..." Misty added

"Fine! But I'm gonna fuck Xara until I see her O-face!" Wade yelled

"Y-Yes Captain..." the two former Empire allied members crawled to the sleeping quarters.

"Captain, you will be here for quite a while. I do not have the correct upgrades." Xara answered

"What does this damn upgrade LOOK like?!" Wade growled as he fucked her ass.

"They look like miniature drives." Xara answered as she was pushed and pulled back normally

"GRR! Insert Deus Ex Machina!" Wade growled wanting one of the writers to give a miniature drive for Xara.

"Here you go Wade." Grey said, feeling sad as he made a device appear in his hand "Insert that into her and it will make a proper nerves system throughout her body."

"Thanks Grey. And where the hell is Ghost?" Wade shouted

"Honeymoon." Luna answered

"Really? ...Well, here goes nothing." Wade inserted the upgrade into Xara.

Xara began to freeze for a few seconds and then rebooted instantly with a heavenly moan from her mouth "AH! C-Captain! You're HUGE!"

"There we go!" Wade smiled

He pulled them up, bouncing her on his lap as her metallic ass slapped against his pelvis with each thrust

"AH! C-Captain! I-I can feel! I'm able to...Ah Maker! I-I feel! HOT!" Xara moaned as she metaphorically heated up

"You like it?" Wade grunted

"I-I do! Ah, ah, ah!" Xara moaned as she made let her senses shut down except for the pleasure she was now subject to.

She was overwhelmed with it, unknowingly having had about four small orgasms and a large fifth one was building. She felt her pleasure increasing and her moans where getting louder and louder

"You wanna cum?" Wade asked as he kneaded her breasts and pinched her nipples.

She nodded, her robotic tongue hanging out of her mouth as her eyes flashed between several colours as her processor struggled to withstand all the pleasure. And then she screamed as she came, her robot pussy vibrating in a way that poured her lubricant out and onto Wade's stomach as if she had squirted

"Ah FUCK!" Wade moaned as he filled her ass with his seed "Ah...That...was hot."

Xara just gave a few muttered moans as her body continued to shudder

"Now...THAT is an O-Face..." Wade smiled and kissed her.

Xara weakly kissed back, nearly collapsing

'I think I'm gonna like it here...' Wade thought kindly as he caught Xara

 **To be continued**

 **I hope you've enjoyed reading this chapter as we have writing it.**

 **Please leave reviews for these stories they really help.**

 **The next chapter coming up soon.**

 **Thank you**


	6. Chapter 6

**Deadpool Star Wars IV A New Ship**

 **Chapter 6**

 **Reviews:**

Drift219: He WILL get lightsabres, just not yet.

Deadpool: Wade even though you DO want that...It's too early. And with Xara, it's okay this chapter will help it out. Don't worry, Luke won't kill you...Much.

In the other room of the ship, Liara and Tali saw the result of their captain's conquest...And they were blushing.

And why?

Because Misty and Louise where walking through the ship proudly with their ripped cloths/armour and drying cum over them

"Wha...?" Liara looked at them in a blushing shock

"I...I think...it's not our business..." Tali blushed

"But..." Liara replied

"I-I think we'll just have to wait a little while..." Tali blushed while turning away imagining their captain making mad passionate love to them.

"Hey." Wade called as he entered, smiling

"C-Captain! Are-are you okay?" Tali asked in shock

"Yep!" He nodded with a smile

"You...seem happy." Liara commented

"I am." Wade nodded simply

"Would you like to tell us about it?" Liara asked

"Liara!" Tali blushed

"What? I want to know." Liara responded

"Know what?" He asked innocently

"I want to know why THOSE two are acting like a pair of dangle legged AT-ATs." Liara answered

"I fucked them good." He shrugged

"I...You..." Liara and Tali blushed, which only grew brighter when a wobbly legged Xara came through with cum dripping from her ass and pussy

"So good." Xara muttered

"You...fucked with..." Liara asked, brain dead

"Yeah, gave her an upgrade to turn her from a "sex-doll" to an actual feeling person." Wade answered smiling. "And she loved it."

"I...Don't know how to respond to that." Tali blushed

Wade just grinned triumphantly at that

"Well, where are we going to Ms Tali? Or are you just too stunned?" He asked kindly to his crew-mate

"...Is...WAS that an initiation?" Tali asked while a little bit of drool dribbled down her mouth.

"I guess it was. But only for Sexy babes like we have on board." Wade flirted

"S-Sexy babes?" Tali blushed

"You think we're sexy?" Liara asked

"Oh yeah." Wade nodded "VERY sexy."

"Well...Perhaps...Maybe we could...Err..." Tali blushed happily.

"We could... What?" Wade smiled

"P-Perhaps...If there's time...sleep together...Captain?" Tali blushed

"Y-Yeah...I can agree to that." Liara smiled with a blush of her own.

"Sure." He nodded nonchalant, but inside he was cheering

"I hate to break up the love fest but we're running low on fuel! We need to head to a recharge station." Leia spoke as she caught up with them

"What? I thought this thing ran on some Dark Matter or something!" Wade groaned

"Dark-? What're you talking about? This ship only runs on the Ion Fuel cells in the engine." Leia answered

"Alright, alright. Where's the nearest planet that has this sort of stuff?" Wade asked as they headed to the controls

"This one right here: Coruscant." Leia answered pointing to the map

"The Capital Planet? In this thing we'll be open targets." Liara answered

"Do you have a better plan?" Leia snapped

"Hey! Save the cat-fights for later; if this place has what we need, we're going. Okay?" Wade answered "And let me see the catfights, they will be hot."

"You...! Just fly." Leia spoke with an annoyed blush on her face

"Oh you know you want it." Wade winked

Needless to say the next few seconds were filled with tension before they landed on Coruscant. "Next floor: Lady's Ware, Spaceship parts and Coruscant Garage." Wade joked as they landed in the Spaceport.

"That's good." Luke nodded

"Which part? The women's ware or the: to do list?" Wade joked again

"The: to do list." Luke deadpanned

Wade grinned at that, patting his head like he was a little kid

"Was that necessary?" Luke asked

"Yes...Yes it was." Wade answered "Now we should have to find (and or make) some parts for the ship."

"Sounds a plan." Luke nodded

"Okay, Tali: you and Liara help find some parts for the ship. Leia, Luke and I will go shopping for goods. Sound okay with you?" Wade asked

Everyone nodded but Luke looked confused

"Err...They're getting some power converters and WE'RE going to get some food and stuff." Wade thought of a way to explain it to Luke.

"No... I feel something." Luke whispered

"You FEEL something? ...Must be Old Ben's training. You're learning how to sense force users." Wade thought aloud.

"What?" Luke gasped in shock

"Why not? This place IS a good place to hide from the Empire." Wade answered

"There... Could be more Jedi?"

"Why not? There's room in this Galaxy for more isn't there?" Wade shrugged

"Okay, we'll grab whatever we can and wait here. Gonna keep an eye on the wobble triplets as well." Liara answered

"... Who?" Wade asked

"Louise, Misty and Xara." Liara rolled her eyes.

"Ah!" Wade nodded with a smile

"I expected you knew who you just slept with." Liara hissed at him, but blushed

"I...What?" Luke asked in shock

"Nothing, let's go get some supplies." Wade answered "And I didn't register the nickname you gave them." He hissed back

"It's not a nickname of sorts...I bet WE'RE going to join them at the end of this." Liara whispered to Tali.

"Come on, we're wasting time." Leia spoke

They all nodded at that

*time skip*

"Okay are you SURE we have everything Wade?" Luke asked

"Think so." He nodded

"I wonder how the others are doing..."

"I can still sense someone. They seem to be close but...I can't tell where from." Luke spoke aloud

"Oh come on, we can find them." Wade nodded

"But don't we need to get the supplies back to the ship?" Leia asked

"I'm sure Liara and Tali can handle it." Wade shrugged

*At the Ship*

"Okay, this might be the most crazy thing I've ever made but...It IS practical." a male space mechanic spoke fitting the new drives in the ship

"I can't believe you managed to make a Dark Matter engine. I thought it was impossible." Tali spoke

"Sweetheart, making crazy gear is my specialty." he chuckled

*back with Wade*

Wade smiled as he followed Luke, flirting with Leia

"What is with you? You're already with four other girls." Leia whispered to him so Luke didn't hear them

"Five." He corrected "And I can't help it. You're hot as hell."

"F-FIVE!?" Leia blushed "Y-You find me attractive?"

"Oh yeah, of course you are." Wade smiled

He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her close, pushing her chest against his

"I...I err..." Leia blushed seeing into his blue eyes

"Stop being so uptight." Wade smiled "I mean you're very angry and defensive for a woman who never wears a bra."

"I-! How do you know that?!" Leia hissed in a whisper

"I know things..." Wade answered "Plus awesome." He smirked, before he kissed her deeply

"Hmm?! H-h-hmm..." Leia moaned as she began to fall for Wade's technique, all the while Luke was ignorant of them, trying to focus on finding this Jedi.

'Where are you?' Luke thought

And then...he heard something...A soft voice. Somehow scared...Like a woman. He tried to think again 'Hello? Where are you?' Luke thought

And he heard a female gasp in his mind

'It-It's alright. I'm a friend. Where are you?' Luke thought

'Who are you?!'

'My name is Luke Skywalker. I'm a Jedi in training.' Luke thought

'A-A Jedi? How...How do I know you're not lying?' the girl asked

'I... Could show you my Lightsaber? ... THAT IS NOT AN INNUENDO! '

'I-I think that'd be okay. I'm through the marketplace...I...I'm a Sakhian.' the girl answered

'That...doesn't help me.' Luke thought

'I have white hair and skin with blue markings. I'll be wearing a brown hood and clothes.' she answered

'Okay. I'm on my way with some friends.' Luke nodded, looking over his shoulder just as Leia and Wade broke the kiss so he didn't see it

"I know where the Jedi is." Luke spoke

"I...Oh, great. G-Good job." Leia spoke

"Where is she?" Wade asked

"In the market. She's on her own." Luke answered

"Let's go." Wade nodded

*Back at the Ship*

"How're they doing?" Liara asked Tali who was currently with the resting girls.

"Fine...Captain Wade has done a number on our crew members...Wish he did it to us though." Tali answered

Liara's eyes widened at that as she blushed

"Well...Maybe we'll have some luck then won't we?" Liara thought aloud

"Maybe...I hope he's not a brute." Tali spoke hopefully

"I doubt it." She smiled

"What IS taking them so long?" Liara sighed, becoming impatient

*In the Market Place*

"Are you SURE this is where this "Jedi" said to meet us?" Leia asked after being debriefed

'Ha-ha...Debriefed...I'll be doing the "debriefing" around here.' Wade thought of it as an innuendo

"I'm positive: a brown hooded and white haired and skinned woman with blue markings." Luke answered

"That should be easy." Wade nodded

'Where are you?' Luke asked using his Jedi telepathy

'You should be able to find me.' The voice repeated

That was when Luke noticed a hooded figure behind some stalls and a large potted tree giving her cover. "I see you." Luke reassured her

"Err... Are you crazy?" Leia asked Luke nervously

"No, she's right over there." Luke pointed as said person waved lightly

She appeared to be 22 years old; Wade assumed that she had A-Cup breasts underneath her robes, and medium white hair. Her face was lightly painted with blue lines around her eyes and lips. "H-Hello..." she spoke kindly

"Hello yourself." Wade smiled

He then winked making her blush

"I...Can you...take me with you?" She asked

"Err, hang on a minute. We don't even know your name." Leia spoke

"I'm Chara...Please let me come with you." Chara asked again in worry

"Why? What're you worried about?" Wade asked

"I...I don't want the Empire to find me." Chara answered

"Well Lukey boy needs a new Jedi teacher... You know, tell you what. You give me a spare Lightsaber that you aren't using and I'll let you join the crew." Wade smiled

"O-Okay. Here. I-I got this from the Lost Archives..." Chara answered handing over a single blade Lightsaber.

"You stole it?" Leia asked

"It...it's not stealing, I was given it." Chara answered

"What colour is it?" Wade asked as he held it. The blade's hilt looked like a crossguard with a silver and black design.

"I don't know. I've never activated it." Chara answered

"Why?" Luke asked

"It's like...It was waiting for its right master." Chara answered

"Well, we'll figure that out late. Welcome to the crew Chara." Wade smiled

He smiled, putting it in his Hammer Space with Obi-Wan's Lightsaber

"So...where's your ship?" Chara asked

"How do we know you're not part of the Empire yourself?" Leia interrogated Chara

"Because I'm not! I'm on the run from them!" Chara answered

"Yea, law... 66 or something?" Wade shrugged

"Order 66." Chara answered "My...My Mother saw...HIM, SLAUGHTER her friends...I've been on the run since she died."

"... Him?" Luke asked "Him who?"

"...Darth Vader." Chara cowered looking over her shoulders after saying that name.

Wade sighed at that, wanting to facepalm

"Please...Can we just go?" Chara asked in worry.

"Sure." Wade nodded

As they headed back to the ship, their crew-mates began to wake up.

"Hmm...That was a good dream..." Louise moaned happily

"What was it about?" Misty asked happily

"Being ravaged...on a sea of soft silk...and being filled to the brim with cum..." Louise answered with a smile "What about yourself?"

"Being held close as you licked me out, the Captain cumming on the both of us." Misty smiled

"That's a good dream..." Louise smiled

"May I tell you what I thought?" Xara asked

"Huh? Xara, you dreamed something too?" Misty asked

"I thought of my servos being covered in Captain's cum...And then my containment centre was filled and I sprayed his seed upon the floor." Xara answered honestly...albeit a bit robotic.

"... He covered you in cum, he filled you with cum and then it came gushing out?" Misty asked, estimating what she thought she said

"That is what I said, yes." Xara answered honestly. "It seems that I may need a personality upgrade to make myself more human-like."

"No. You just need to update your language." Louise smiled

"Oh...perhaps you and the others can help teach me?" Xara asked

"Yeah...We can do that...As soon as we get the feeling back in our legs." Misty sighed heavenly

Louise nodded with a smile

 **To be continued**

 **I hope you've enjoyed reading this chapter as we have writing it.**

 **Please leave reviews for these stories they really help.**

 **The next chapter coming up soon.**

 **Thank you**


	7. Chapter 7

**Deadpool Star Wars IV A New Ship**

 **Chapter 7**

 **Reviews:**

To the reviewers: Yep Deadpool finally gets a light sabre. You're welcome reviewers

Wade, Luke, Leia and Chara were walking back to the ship; well the first three were, the latter was constantly looking over her shoulders so that no Empire Sith were following them.

"Look, don't worry about it. If any Empire grunts find us, I'll sort it out. Okay?" Wade reassured Chara.

"A... Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, I'm like...three, carry the fifteen...Well I've got more aim than a Storm Trooper." Wade answered

"That's reassuring." She deadpanned

"Look, there's the ship; we're almost there, we're on the move to HQ." Wade answered

She nodded, still cautious however

"You know where HQ is?" Leia asked in worry

"Err..." Wade thought 'It's not Dantooine, which was the last Base. Ghost? Any clue?'

*With the Writers*

"Hoo, we're back..." Ghost smiled wearing some new clothes along with Catherine "It's Yavin IV. The BC and AD of the Star Wars Universe go by the abbreviations: BBY and ABY. Before and After the Battle of Yavin." Ghost answered

"How was your honeymoon?" Luna asked Catherine kindly

"BRILLIANT." Catherine glowed happily

"Err... Okay." Grey muttered to Ghost

"What? Wade wanted know about Yavin IV and I told him." Ghost answered "As for the honeymoon thing...Less said about personal lives the better for us."

Grey shrugged at that

*back to the story*

"I know where, don't worry." Wade answered as they approached the ship

"THIS is your ship?" Chara asked in amazement

"Oh yeah..." Wade smiled "The PussyWagon." He nodded with a smile

"A-Are you serious?" Chara asked with an almost deadpan look

"Oh yeah; come on, I'll introduce you to the rest of the crew." Wade nodded

And with that he grabbed her hand and dragged her inside

"Whoa!" Chara almost flew into the ship

"PussyWagon? Oh boy..." Leia sighed

"There're worse names..." Luke added

"Like what?" Leia asked

"Back on Tatooine there was a guy who called his ship "Yes Ladies, The Ship Matches It's Owner"." Luke answered with a heavy sigh

"And?" She asked

"He didn't get any women to go with him." Luke answered "Embarrassing for EVERYONE."

She nodded at that

Inside the ship Wade began to introduce Chara to the rest of their little "family". "Girls, this is Chara; she's going to be part of the family. Chara, this is: Tali, Liara and in the medbay are Misty, Louise and our droid Xara." Wade pointed to the girls

"H-Hello." Chara answered kindly with a smile

"Hi." Misty waved

"How're you?" Louise asked

"Greetings Ms Chara." Xara added

"'Sup?" Liara gave a casual wave

"Nice to meet you." Tali smiled

"See?" Wade smirked "You can all get along."

"Come on, let me show you around." Liara spoke leading the way

"O-Okay...Thank you." Chara smiled kindly and followed

"She is quite shy." Xara spoke honestly.

"Understandable." Leia admitted

"Have a nice talk you two?" Wade asked

"Yeah...I think it was." Luke admitted

"You didn't kiss her, did you?" Wade frowned

"I-What? No!" Luke answered "Why-WHY would you think that?" he asked in shock

"Just being sure." Wade nodded "So did we get what we asked for?"

"Amazingly: yeah. A Dark Matter engine and... HOW is this possible for it for a "Pseudo-Universe expansion" to the rooms? Cause there was a spaceship mechanic who managed it." Tali answered

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth, Tali." Wade answered "It's time we departed. To Yavin IV!"

And with that he ran off

"This is going to be a running theme isn't it?" Luke sighed

"Yes." Leia nodded with a small blush

*Time Skip*

As the ship sailed through the void and onto the Moon called Yavin IV, Leia was wondering if the plans for the Death Star had reached them in time and how to defeat the monstrous device.

"I just realised... Where are R2 and C2PO?" Luke asked as the group got off the... PussyWagon... Got damn it Wade.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" Wade hit his head on the driving wheel "Where were they last?"

"If they aren't with the Empire already, they might still be on Tatooine!" Ghost responded

And that's when a door opened deep inside the ship, the two droids walking out

"Oh Maker...That was an adventure." a gold coloured robot spoke. It was a male humanoid in feature with voice;

The second one was an R2 Unit: silver and blue that could only communicate through a series of bleeps.

"Where the hell have you two been?!" Wade snapped

"We stowed away since Master Luke left with you." C-3PO answered

*with the authors*

"Yea... We TOTALLY didn't forget about them. Not at all." Grey said nervously, tugging his collar

"Yeah we...we remembered the main droids." Ghost sweatdropped

"Oh really?" Wade spoke in disbelief

"Of course." Ghost and Grey answered

Wade just gave them a frown in disbelief

*back to the story*

"R2 do you have the data?" Leia asked, to which R2-D2 Responded with a series of blips "Oh thank goodness...He still has the data."

"Of course he does." Wade rolled his eyes

"Back on course: To The Base!" Liara ordered

"Ahem." Wade turned to his crewmate with a raised eyebrow.

"Sorry." Liara answered

"To The Base." Wade spoke as he jumped out of his seat

"At last, solid ground." C-3PO spoke in relief

"Oh quit whining you golden pompous ass. I can see why Grey and Ghost forgot about you." Wade scoffed, walking passed the golden droid

"Who?" the group asked

"Never mind. We've got a battle to win." Wade answered

He smirked as he wrapped his arms around Leia's and Chara's shoulders

"Err..." Chara and Leia blushed as they were walking to the battle room

"Master Luke, are you alright?" C-3PO asked

"Yeah, why?" Luke answered

"Princess Leia is quite beautiful for a human." he answered

"She...Doesn't really strike a chord with me." Luke answered honestly

"... Are you gay Master Luke?" C3PO asked after a seconds pause, making Wade laugh

"No! No, I'm not gay!" Luke answered "She's just one girl I don't find attractive!" he explained

Wade was laughing wildly, 'accidentally' and subtly groping Leia's breast

"Hmm!" Leia blushed as she felt Wade's fingers caressing her breast.

Chara frowned lightly as she felt inferior without susceptible breasts.

She looked down at herself, crossing her arms over said small chest

"What's the matter?" Wade asked as they walked in

"Hmm..." Chara frowned and still covered her small chest

"Sad about your tiny chest?" He asked bluntly

"I...Yeah..." Chara blushed "I'm also jealous of all the other girls' breasts..."

"I love big tatas as much as the next guy but yours are great. They're cute." Wade smiled

"Y-You find my body cute?" Chara blushed happily

"Oh yeah." Wade reassured her

"Princess Leia, thank goodness you're alright." a Rebel soldier spoke as he ran to her

"Huh? Oh yes, I am. R2-D2 has the data; take it to the central room." Leia spoke as she heard the conversation.

"Yes ma'am!" The soldier nodded

"We'll talk later. Okay?" Wade winked to both of them

"Yes...MUCH later." Leia blushed

"I doubt we're gonna have our initiation Tali." Liara sighed heavily

"After we be awesome." Wade promised them

"We're holding you to that!" Tali called out.

And then she blushed as she realised what she said

"I'm gonna like living here." Wade smiled

 **To be continued**

 **I hope you've enjoyed reading this chapter as we have writing it.**

 **Please leave reviews for these stories they really help.**

 **The next chapter coming up soon.**

 **Thank you**


	8. Chapter 8

**Deadpool Star Wars IV A New Ship**

 **Chapter 8**

 **Author's Note:**

Thank you all for reading this story. For all of you wondering: this story will continue in another story. Haven't decided what to call it yet but we'll be working on it. Until then, please enjoy this final chapter.

The group were escorted to the War Room where they began to explain the battle plans on how to destroy the Death Star. Wade sighed as he saw the graphics for the Death Star were VERY 1970's...He almost wanted to give it a kick in the pants to update it to 3D graphics.

'At least I'm not in the special editions... Right? Right?' He thought in relief and then fear

"No Wade, this isn't the Special Editions. Pure 1977-1983 Original Timeline." Ghost answered to reassure the mercenary.

"Oh thank God!" He cheered... In the middle of the debrief and battle plan

"Well...I'm glad you like the idea of us using a small one manned fighter to destroy the Death Star." The head Rebel spoke

"I... Err... Yea, that plans great!" Wade nodded "But Darth Vader is on that ship and he is very... He is Sith-ey. So **I** have a plan to leave him out of the battle!"

"YOU have a plan to take Lord Vader out of the battle?" the leader spoke

"Hey! Me and Chara call him out for a fight and distract him!" Wade smiled

"Err...Do I get a say in this?" Chara gulped in worry.

"Don't worry, I'm gonna protect you." Wade answered with a smile "Plus you're a badass Jedi, you've got this!"

"I...Thank you..." Chara blushed

"That sounds like it will work." Leia nodded

"So we have part of a plan." The leader spoke

"Er... No. Whole plan. I distract Vader, a bunch of ships distract the empire and a small one man ship blows the giant space boob up." Wade deadpanned

"I...Never really realized the Death Star looked like a giant boob until now." Leia pointed out with the rest of the Rebels agreeing.

"Oh WHAT? Can't I even beat a giant mono-boob of death for breast size?" Chara frowned heavily

"Next thing you know we'll have giant boob-nipple guns on Hoth." Leia sighed

Wade was holding back snickers at that

"Should we write that down?" a mechanic spoke to his friend who nodded writing that suggestion down.

"So while Mr Wilson and his crew are distracting Darth Vader we'll try and detonate the Death Star." The Rebel Leader spoke

"Everyone understand?"

"Understood." The group answered

"Wade, can I ask you something?" Chara asked

"Sure, what is it?" Wade responded as they walked outside. "What did you want?"

"This...Goes against the teaching of the Jedi...But...It feels right." Chara spoke

"What does?" Wade asked only to receive a passionate kiss from her.

Wade grinned, holding her tight and groping her ass

"Hmm..." Chara moaned happily and broke the kiss

"I think you liked that VERY much." Wade smiled

"I...I did..." Chara blushed

"Good. Screw the Jedi code." He grinned

"I think I just did..." Chara teased and kissed him again.

'Oh come ON!' Tali and Liara thought as they pouted

Wade turned to the two and winked

"I think our time is cumming." Tali smiled as she rubbed her thighs

"Don't you mean oh..." Wade asked at the technical error but then caught on. "Awesome!" He cheered

*time skip*

"Are you ready to go into the unknown?" Leia asked as Wade was stocking the ship

""Unknown"? Princess we were there less than a couple of days ago." Wade answered "But yeah...Yeah we're ready to kick Vader's ass."

Be safe." She nodded, cupping his cheek

"Hey...It's me." Wade gave a bookish grin "Al aboard we're gonna kick some Sith Ass!" he called out.

And then he was pulled into a kiss by Leia

"Hmm..." Wade moaned happily

"Try not to die...I've got more where that came from." Leia spoke breaking the kiss.

"Looking forward to it." She smiled

"Excuse me Princess." Liara spoke as she was carrying weapons in case of any Storm Troopers that'll try and dock the ship. "Thanks."

"Think that's enough firepower?" Leia asked

"Honey, there's no such thing as "Never enough fire power"." Wade smiled "See you back in a while."

He smacked her ass and ran into the ship with a cheeky grin

"You...!" Leia blushed but smiled knowing that it was all in a seductive jest. "Everyone: battle stations!"

Luke smiled as be ready himself, R2 being connected to his X-Wing

"Ready R2?" Luke asked, to which the droid responded positively "Then let's go."

Luke got in the cockpit and put his helmet on, ready

*time skip, with the Pussy Wagon*

"Do you think he got our challenge?" The female Jedi asked as she landed on a planet

*a few hours earlier, with Vader*

The black cloaked, and armoured, man opened a file sent to his systems to find a video. It was Wade

"Hey Bucket head! Me and a sexy female Jedi are going to be on THIS PLANET." Wade said as the coordinates appeared next to the merc's head "Come and have a go if you aren't chicken!" Wade then turned around and spanked his ass before the call ended

*now, Pussy-Wagon*

"I think he got it." Wade smirked

"You're suicidal; you know that right?" Liara spoke with a deadpanned look.

"Can't be suicidal if you can't die." He smirked

"Yeah about that-" Liara asked

"Hold up, we're approaching the planet." Wade interrupted "I'll explain about how I can't die later. I've got some Vader whupping to do."

"... Will he be okay?" Xara asked

"He's gonna be fine. He's our Captain." Tali spoke with a smile.

"See? Have a little faith. Louise, Misty: are you in position?" Wade spoke through his headset to different parts of the ship

"I'm in position Captain." Louise spoke as she readied on the guns

"Same here Sir." Misty added

"Great." Wade smirked, feeling confident "Now, no matter what happens: keep the ship out of Vader's range and keep blasting Empire Ships, we need to show Princess that we're not just sitting on our arses." Wade added

"Right." Everyone nodded

"Liara: You and Tali take the controls, Chara you're with me on the ground. Xara: you keep the ship functional, I gave you a "mechanic's repair" upgrade between chapter transitions." Wade gave other orders while breaking the 4th wall.

"Between what?" Xara asked in confusion

"Landing coming up." Wade spoke

And then he jumped out of the ship.

"Take over!" Tali spoke as she and Liara grabbed the controls

"Captain, I REALLY hope you know what you're doing." Liara added through her com-link

"Don't worry, how pissed can Vader be?" Wade asked as he brandished his new lightsaber.

*with Vader*

"Lord Vader, are you CERTAIN you want to do this?" A Storm Trooper asked

"I'm certain. I will NOT have people insult my power or my position!" Lord Vader answered

Vader was in his TIE-Fighter, flying at high speed

*Back on the planet*

"Captain...Maybe you should see what your lightsaber can do. I don't want you being killed by Lord Vader." Chara spoke.

"Please, I've got these baby's!" Wade smiled, pulling out his katanas

"Well...Only if you're sure." Chara spoke as she held her own lightsaber in her hands.

Wade nodded with a smirk

"Whoop. He got my message." Wade pointed to the TIE-Fighter that was zooming down towards them

'... Why do I feel like I'm about to fight Thanos?' He thought, sweating as the ship landed

As the TIE-Fighter's doors lowered exposing some well placed fog spilling out from it's hydraulics, the sound of a heavy breathing apparatus was heard...It was like the whole world had gone silent and that was the only sound that was heard along with the sounds of slow heavy steps. It was like the coming of the end...The sounds of death, doom and destruction.

*With the writers*

Ghost's back shivered heavily along with Catherine's as they held each other "God DAMN! That gets me EVERY time!"

"Kind of exciting though; right?" Catherine teased

"Oh hell yeah." Ghost smiled

"Wade... You done fucked up." Grey chuckled softly

*Back in reality*

"Yeah...I done fucked up." Wade gulped seeing Darth Vader approach them.

Vader's entire aura was dark and powerful; it was like the universe was fighting against them.

And then in a burst of light, he activated his Lightsaber.

"Oh...Shit." Wade gulped

"Captain!" Chara activated her lightsaber and readied herself for Darth Vader's attack.

She held her purple Lightsaber, ready to battle

"Very Sam L Jackson. Ready Mr 7-Foot-Asthmatic-Ass?" Wade asked brandishing his katana only for him to have his throat being crushed by Vader's force-choke.

Wade began to hack and choke, throwing his blades at Vader and shooting

Vader stopped the items in mid-flight and redirected them to the sides of him and he turned his attention to Chara. "As soon as he is dead, YOU will join me." Vader spoke

"Never!" She snarled, stabbing him in the gut. Or tried to as he blocked the slash

"You have a passion, use it. Try and strike me down padawan." Vader spoke as he pushed her back while maintaining the grip around Wade's neck.

"I am no Padawan! And you will not hurt him!" She yelled, slashing faster in a variety of directions

'Think Wade... Got it!' He thought, rolling a grenade to Vader's feet without him noticing

Chara quickly glanced down at Vader's feet and jumped backwards as to dodge the explosion. Vader looked down, saw the device and released his grip on Wade to escape the blast but he was just a fraction too slow and was caught in the explosion.

He was sent flying, bouncing on the ground for a few feet as Wade landed panting for air

"Listen...I like auto-erotic asphyxiation as much as the next sane guy...but THAT was just crazy!" Wade coughed aiming his katana at the Sith Lord.

"Auto what?" Chara asked

"I'll tell you later." Wade answered "Time for some slicey-slice!" he ran over to Vader getting ready to cut him.

But as he slashed down... Vader cut his katana's in half

The world seemed to slow down as Wade watched his beloved swords be decimated in front of his very eyes

As the world slowed for Wade, Vader began to raise his lightsaber to kill Wade for insulting him in that message. Chara went in to block the attack but was too slow as she saw Wade being pierced and cauterized by the space age plasma sword.

Wade screamed; falling to the floor as the blade was pulled out of his body. When the blade stabbed him it also destroyed his machine guns, the wrecked weapons fluttering around him. Wade now lay there, bleeding out and seemingly dead

'Sh-Shit! I...I can't die here! I'm the hero!' Wade thought breathing through the pain

"Now, little one..." Vader spoke and tried to probe her mind for answers "WHERE are your cohorts?"

"Y... You know... THAT was a dick move Anakin-wanakin." Wade joked as he slowly pulled himself up, his body healing

"Oh please bucket head, you and I both know you're that whiney brag Anakin who hates sand. Because it's rough, course and it gets everywhere." Wade scoffed, hating having to quote the prequels as his wound healed before their eyes

"You...I'll crush you like an INSECT!" Vader roared as he lifted a VERY large chunk of earth from the ground aiming to crush Wade.

"Just so you know I actually felt my soul die a little when I said that." Wade quickly quipped as he pulled out his lightsaber as the large amount of earth was thrown at him, seemingly crushing him

"Enough!" Vader panted heavily as he turned his attention to Chara

"I...I like "Anakin"...It's a nice name." Chara spoke trying to get her breath back.

"Then you'll join him..." Vader spoke but heard the sound of a lightsaber cutting through bedrock.

The large boulder was carved by what could only be described as: A red and black lightsaber with cross-guards.

Wade panted as he stood up, looking down at his Lightsaber

"O...Kay...THIS is one hell of a colour." Wade spoke "But isn't this a little No. VII for this series?"

"Wade, do you want your hands cut off? Also its design is based BEFORE VII's timeline." Ghost answered

Grey gave Ghost a deadpanned look

"Grey, I will ask you only this: In a lightsaber battle do you want protections for your hands or will you risk it? Also I've checked the mythos, IT IS canon." Ghost responded

"Disney abolished the extended continuity." Grey reminded

"Ah...I...Fuck." Ghost sighed heavily "...Kick his ass Wade."

"Will do!" Wade cheered as he pulled out Obi-Wan's Lightsaber as well, glad be grabbed it as they ran from the Death Star

"Obi-Wan's lightsaber..." Darth Vader snarled as he spun his own lightsaber around and struck towards Wade but he was blocked by Wade's technique

"Nice try Anakin...But I sat through the god awful prequels!" Wade slashed "And now it's time for payback!"

As Wade and Chara struck towards Vader to overpower him, we head to the "PussyWagon" who seem to be kicking ass among the Rebels.

"This is awesome!" Liara cheered

"Yeah it is. I always wondered what it would be like to shoot Imperial bad guys." Tali smiled

"Hey!" Louise and Misty groaned

"Sorry." Tali responded

"Excuse me; we are receiving a message from an Imperial ship." Xara spoke

"Who is it?" Liara asked as she continued shooting

"His name is Gary and he wants to leave without getting blown up." Xara answered

"I dunno...Can he be trusted?" Liara asked

"I know Gary, he's a nice guy." Misty answered "Tell him he can pass...and tell him I said "Hi to Jessica"."

"Err...Okay..." Xara answered

"REALLY? What does "Gary the Storm Trooper" bring to the table? He sounds like a comic relief!" Louise answered

"He could be used against the Empire if this goes tits up!" Misty answered

*meanwhile, in the Marvel Universe*

"ACHOO!" HYDRA Bob sneezed violently, nearly falling over "I feel like someone's ripping me off."

*back to the story*

"Misty, if this fucks up; I'll fuck you...up. Got it?" Liara commented

'Kinda hoping it does now...' She thought

That was when Luke flew close to the Death Star and fired at the small port, hitting

"I've got the port let's get outta here!" Luke spoke through his com-link

"Good job kid!" Tali smiled

And in seconds the Death Star began to explode

"Yes!" Liara cheered

"WHOO-HOO!" Tali cheered

'Err...I'm fifty/fifty on how to feel about this.' Both Louise and Misty thought

*With Wade and Chara*

Wade was singing a lot of subtle little annoying songs as he slashed at Vader

"Do. You. Ever. Stop. TALKING?!" Vader roared as he blocked and struck at Wade

"No; it's my gift to the world." Wade laughed

Chara giggled, kicking Vader in the face before Wade slashed him across the chest

"ARGH!" Vader groaned as his chest hurt and he used the Force to push the two back several feet. And then he slammed his hand into the ground causing the earth to split underneath Chara and Wade.

Seeing the damage on his suit he ran off

He retreated to his ship, knowing he couldn't risk more damage to his life support, before he goes off

"C-Captain!" Chara yelled as she was falling into the crevice of Darth Vader's design

"Hold on!" Wade leaped over and grabbed her hand "Gotcha! Don't let go, I'm pulling you up!"

Chara nodded as Wade slowly pulled her up, being as careful as he could

"Here...We...Go...!" Wade pulled her up, even as the ground holding him was crumbling away. "Grab the ledge!"

Chara grabbed a sturdy bit of earth and helped pull herself up and get her footing back, she panted heavily in relief and fear.

"Oh... Oh my... B... By the force... I felt so scared..." She whispered, Wade laying next to her and hugging her

"Hold on...We're not outta the woods yet." Wade spoke as he bridal carried her and ran as the floor began to crumble. "Captain to the PussyWagon: we need pick up! Vader's taken a powder and left us on a crumbling ridge!"

"Huh? What're you talking about?" Tali asked

"Vader's caused a deep ridge and left us stranded! Pick us UP!" Wade answered through his com-link

"On it!" Liara nodded, ending the call

"Hanging on okay?" Wade asked as he cradled Chara

"I...I'm fine..." She blushed looking up at him

He smiled, kissing her to make her feel better. But inside? Wade Wilson felt broken.

'Is this how Luke felt after his first bout with his daddy?' Wade asked himself

Soon the PussyWagon flew close, opening a hatch on the bottom

"Come on you two! That stuff can wait." Liara shouted down extending her hand to them.

Wade smiled and reached up, grabbing her hand

As they safely entered their ship they flew off back to Yavin IV where the rest of the rebels were awaiting the other heroes.

Wade sighed, laying on his bed

"What's the matter Captain?" Xara asked kindly

"I got my ass kicked." He deadpanned

"What can we do to rectify it?" Xara asked kindly as she sat next to him.

"Go back in time and cut his head off?" Wade sighed

"I'm not certain we CAN use time travel." Xara answered "And the theoretical implications alone warrant caution."

"I was being sarcastic." Wade frowned

"Would having an "orgy" make you feel better?" Xara suggested

"...I'm surprised that you know the word." Wade went wide eyed

"I began expanding my vocabulary during my inebriation." Xara answered

"... Your what?"

"I learned some new words after you fucked me." Xara answered simply

"... Ah." He nodded "Well...I won't say "no" to an orgy...But...I'm just not feeling it at the minute." Wade sighed

NOW the girls were suspicious and worried

"Captain..." Chara frowned

"I just need a minute. I'll be fine." Wade spoke trying to reassure them.

He had lost. So utterly. Yes he got back up. He kept right. Because he was Deadpool. But his weapons were gone. His costume was ribbons of thread hanging from his body. He had been sent to the floor dying nearly ten times.

'God damn it!' He groaned and just looked sadly at the ceiling.

"Don't let him hear that. He's STILL got that lightsaber." Ghost added

"As if he'll use it." Grey scoffed "This whiney bitch I see is too much of a pussy to use one. Deadpool would use it. This guy's? He'd be too scared he'd hurt himself."

"Grr...! Get over here GreyKing! I'll slice you like a salami!" Wade slashed through the screen with his red-black lightsaber.

"...Just HAD to push him didn't you?" Ghost deadpanned

"... Good to have you back Wade." Grey smiled

"You two REALLY know how to get on a guy's nerves don't ya?" Wade asked

"That's the point dude." Grey smiled "Now you gonna be a pussy or are you gonna be the Badass Merc with a Mouth?"

"I am NO pussy! I PLOW pussy! I'm Wade FUCKING Wilson! I'm DEADPOOL!" Wade rebutted in anger

"THAT'S the Wade we know and laugh with. Which just so happens we've got a Deus Ex Machina in our sleeves." Ghost added revealing a fully new set of armour.

Along with the armour was a set of high energy laser sub-machine gun's which also became small hand cannons, some Lightsaber paint and a replacement Force Crystal for Obi-Wan's old Lightsaber so he could duel wield

"That...Looks...AWESOME!" Wade beamed seeing the new gear.

"Boys..." Luna sighed with a kind smile

"Oh yeah..." Catherine agreed

*With Wade's girls*

"I hope Captain is okay." Misty frowned while sitting with the other girls.

"He said just needs time." Louise spoke

"He was... Strange." Tali sighed

"Ha! As if!" Wade scoffed as he kicked the door open and walked out

Wade came in wearing his new Force User armour with both blaster holders and lightsaber holsters

The Lightsabre's were strapped to his thighs and his guns where set on his back in an x shape

"Well, what d'ya think of the new look?" Wade smiled

'Take us now...!' the girls thought with a bright blush

Wade grinned at that, he was gonna have some fun.

"Just one thing: I'm not bound to the Jedi code am I?" Wade quickly asked breaking the fourth wall

"You're worried about that NOW?" Ghost asked

"I AM wearing a Jedi garb." Wade answered

"No, you're not. You're...like a Sith but with your own code." Ghost answered

"You're not a Jedi. You're Wade Wilson, the badass. Plus there are kinda... sorta... no Jedi." Grey shrugged

"Sweet as FUCK!" Wade cheered and returned back to reality "Ladies...The captain is BACK!"

 **The end**

 **I hope you've enjoyed reading this story as we have writing it.**

 **Please leave reviews for these stories they really help.**

 **The next story coming soon.**

 **Thank you**


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